Guide in the Wilderness
by Desaix
Summary: Kaoru accidentally kills a man in a fight, and Kenshin tries to help her recover. Now chapterized and new chapter added (2/9/01)
1. Chapter 1

Guide in the Wilderness  
by David A. Tatum  
  
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I'm only  
borrowing from his excellent work.  
  
Notes: Well, I finally saw all twenty-five volumes of the anime (seeing it  
has actually caused some additions to this fanfic I was not planning on).   
I've also read Maigo-chan's translations, but they don't go QUITE as far as  
the anime does. Since I haven't read past that, I can't set it past that,  
so... consider this an anime continuation, and, er, disregard the manga...   
Oh, and I'm not used to using honorifics in my fanfics, but for some  
reason, the only other real option I think would work (which has Kenshin  
calling Kaoru 'Miss Kaoru') doesn't appeal to me, so I'll try using them  
here- let me know if I blunder them totally... Anyway, enough of this  
note, here goes the story. Enjoy...  
-------------------------  
  
Chapter 1  
  
'Where's Sanosuke when we need him?' Kaoru thought desperately. A knife  
was pinning Yahiko's shirt to the wall with a struggling Yahiko in it, she  
was being held in place by a brutish giant, and Kenshin, worn out from a  
battle he had just returned from, was facing off against another rogue  
hitokiri. Sanosuke had yet to come home from a lunch at the Akabeko and  
Misao was back in Osaka, so there was no help in the immediate vicinity to  
come to their aid, so it was up to them.  
  
The flat of the attacker's blade crashed down onto a weary Kenshin's head,  
dropping him to the ground like a sack of rice. The sakaba sword clattered  
to the floor and slid across the smoothly-polished wood.  
  
"No!" Kaoru screamed, as the hitokiri raised his katana, ready to deliver  
the blow that would separate the half-conscious Kenshin's head from his  
shoulders. She struggled to break free and stop him, even if it meant she  
would take the death blow, but the man holding her picked her up and put  
her over his shoulder in order to pin her better.  
  
She couldn't escape his grip, but the adjustment to her position did free  
up one of her arms. She reached out looking for any kind of weapon, and  
found some kind of polearm one of the hitokiri's entourage was holding.   
She tore it from his grasp, and without being able to see anything and in  
too much of a hurry to look anyway, swung wildly, hoping to distract the  
killer and perhaps give Kenshin a few more seconds to recover and defend  
himself. She felt something connect hard and heard a meaty 'thwack.'  
  
Kaoru went tumbling to the floor much like Kenshin had moments before when  
her captor dropped her, shocked. A collective gasp from the hitokiri's  
followers went unnoticed by her and she rolled to her feet and wielded the  
polearm in a more defensive and controlled manner. A small drop of  
something fell on her hand.  
  
Kaoru's eyes shifted, preparing her for a sudden attack. None came- in  
fact, most of the people were looking at her with abject horror- even  
Yahiko. It wasn't until Kenshin spoke that she began to wonder why.  
  
"K-kaoru... what have you done?" he asked, his voice trembling.  
  
Kaoru looked at Kenshin, then at the hitokiri. Make that the now deceased  
hitokiri, who had a serious wound on his head. She raised her eyes,  
looking at the messy blade of the poleax she was wielding. Finally, she  
glanced at the small drop on her hand, which had been un-noticed by her  
until just then.  
  
The tiny red pool the drop of blood had made drew Kaoru in as she realized  
what, exactly, she had done. As the weight of it all impacted on her, she  
screamed, and then blacked out.  
  
*****  
  
Kaoru woke up to two loudly bickering voices. It took her a moment to  
clear her head and understand what they were saying, but when she did what  
she heard made her decide it probably wasn't a good idea to be waking up  
right then.  
  
"...r over to me," Saitoh was demanding. Saitoh? Wasn't he killed in that  
explosion at Shishio's stronghold?  
  
"Dammit, Saitoh!" Kenshin cursed- not something Kaoru usually liked to hear  
him say. "You KNOW that what happened was not her fault- I was about to be  
killed, she was being held in mid-air by that giant oaf, she was swinging  
wildly, and she couldn't even see that she was holding a poleax at the  
time! She never meant to kill the guy- just to buy me some time to recover  
and prepare for his next attack!"  
  
'Oh, god,' Kaoru thought, her mind suddenly snapping all of the sleepiness  
out of her system. 'It wasn't a dream- I really did k-kill him... but my  
father's teachings, my philosophy- why? Why was I not able to control  
myself better? Maybe I was in a desperate situation, but I should have  
known from its weight that it was more than just a bo, and swung in such a  
way to make sure only the flat of the blade would impact him! But I  
couldn't... I didn't... I failed. I failed to follow my budo- the sword  
that protects life.... Oh, god...'  
  
Saitoh nodded gruffly. "Of course I know that- and that's the only reason  
I haven't killed all of you yet to get to her! Remember, I live by the  
philosophy of Kill Evil Instantly, and if I thought Kaoru was a real  
murderer she would be dead already, as would anyone who tried to stop me!   
But if someone is obviously cut down by a blade, then his death MUST be  
investigated by the law, and for that reason I must take her down to the  
station with me for questioning, and so I need her to come with me now."  
  
"No!" Kenshin screamed. Kaoru could hear his sword sliding in its sheath  
in preparation for some battou-jutsu technique, and she felt the shifting  
of Saitou's feet on the floor to indicate that he was moving to his  
Gattoutsu stance- she knew the battle was about to start, one which  
(between these two) would lead to one of them being killed and the Battosai  
likely emerging, but... she couldn't stop it. She'd killed a man- what  
right did she have to stop someone else from doing the same?  
  
"Stop it, both of you!" Megumi's voice shouted. "You are being as  
unreasonable as five year olds- no, less. Ayame-chan and Suzame-chan have  
always been more willing to compromise than the two of you are right now!   
Kenshin, Saitoh is right! He HAS to bring Kaoru in, or else she won't be  
able to explain what happened and will be thought of as a murderer!"   
Saitoh smiled slightly, amused at having been defended by one of Kenshin's  
friends. "And you, Mr. Policeman, should realize the necessity of allowing  
Kaoru the time to recover her wits- she's been in a great shock! And you  
should also allow Kenshin to accompany her, as well- she'll need the moral  
support-"  
  
Saitoh snorted. "Whatever. I'll just wait here until she's ready to  
travel, then. But don't make me wait too long, or else I won't bother with  
courtesy anymore, and I'll just sling her over my shoulder and drag her to  
jail."  
  
Megumi nodded, satisfied. Turning to the other swordfighter, she asked,  
"Ken-san?"  
  
"...hai."  
  
Kaoru was surprised. Kenshin had seemed to hesitate before agreeing- why?   
The agreement seemed perfectly reasonable to her. In fact, she didn't see  
the need for an agreement. She'd killed a man- she didn't deserve time to  
recover. She didn't deserve to have Kenshin stay with her any more.  
  
"Good. Now, let me return to my patient, and when I think she's ready to  
see the two of you, I'll let you know. Now, get out of here!" the female  
doctor ordered. A shuffling of feet indicated the two had left, and soon  
Megumi was back by Kaoru, and a cold wet cloth was placed on her head.   
Still, Kaoru did and said nothing.  
  
After a moment, Megumi clucked. "You know, I really don't like treating  
people who only pretend to be sick."  
  
Kaoru's eyes opened and she sat up. "Then why don't you leave?"  
  
Megumi smirked. "I'm not going to answer that just yet. First, I think  
you need to be caught up on the news. It seems our Saitoh was only  
pretending to be dead to us, but when he heard you had killed a man he  
rushed right over. To gloat about it to Ken-san, I suppose."  
  
"Gloat?"  
  
"Saitoh has always said that Kenshin was an idealist. You, as it turns  
out, were that ideal."  
  
"Ideal?" Kaoru asked.  
  
"The sword which fought for what it believed in, protected those it cared  
about, and never had to take a life. Your philosophy, in other words- and  
your ability to keep it."  
  
Kaoru sobbed. "Until now. I've ruined Kenshin's ideal, I've failed  
myself, and I've killed a man- what do I have to live for?" She closed her  
eyes again, laying back down. "I should just kill myself right now, before  
I mess up anyone elses life."  
  
The stinging sensation of Megumi's slap forced Kaoru's eyes back open.   
"Snap out of it!" the female doctor snarled. "You killed a man, yes, but  
in doing so you saved Ken-san's life! It would all be for nothing, though,  
if you were to kill yourself. You may have ruined Kenshin's ideal, but as  
long as you live he will go on with his own life. If you were to die,  
though, he would become a shell of what he is... or may even follow you in  
death."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Don't 'but' me! If anything, you can give Ken-san a new ideal- a person  
who was once forced to kill, but resists the urge to kill again. And if  
you kill yourself, you WILL be killing someone else."  
  
Kaoru sighed. "Okay... for Kenshin's sake, I won't kill myself...."  
  
Megumi frowned. "With that attitude, you'll start feeling suicidal the  
next time you and he have an argument. You have to live not JUST for him,  
but for yourself, as well. And Sano, and Yahiko-chan, and Ayame-chan, and  
Sazumi-chan, and Tae-san, and Tsubasa-chan, and Misao-chan, and... and me!   
Dammit, you're my friend, too! Live for yourself and live for us, because  
no-one here wants to see you die! Not even Saitoh- if he did, he would  
have killed you already."  
  
Timidly, Kaoru nodded. "Alright, Megumi-san. For myself, and you, and  
Kenshin...."  
  
Megumi smiled. "Good. Now, get some rest... when you wake up next time,  
I'll let Ken-san know you're awake, and you and he can go meet Saitoh and  
get everything cleared up...."  
  
*****  
  
"Kaoru, Are you sure you're feeling up to this?" Kenshin asked, concerned.   
"We can always hold off for another day or two..."  
  
'No,' Kaoru thought. 'I will not delay whatever punishment I deserve for  
killing that man. I deserve it...' She paused for a moment. 'And why  
isn't he calling me 'Kaoru-DONO any more?'  
  
"I'm fine, Kenshin," she said. "I want to get this out of the way."  
  
Kenshin nodded. "Don't worry- I won't let anyone to do anything to you for  
this."  
  
"No!" Kaoru shouted. "Don't you DARE make that promise!"  
  
Kenshin jumped back, startled. "Oro?! What did I say?"  
  
Kaoru blinked- she hadn't meant to sound so angry. "I'm sorry, Kenshin- I  
didn't mean to shout. But I really killed that man, so I deserve whatever  
punishment the law sets down for me. Don't get into a fight trying to  
prevent me from getting what I deserve."  
  
"But I..." Kenshin began. A stern glare from Kaoru stopped him. "Okay-  
but ONLY if the sentence is a just one. You know that they've gotten  
carried away in the past."  
  
Kaoru sighed. She really couldn't expect more from him- he would always be  
her protector, she supposed. Even if she didn't deserve him any more.  
  
"We're here," Kenshin said after a few minutes of walking. "Ready?"  
  
"Yes," Kaoru said, and started into the building without looking at him.  
  
Saitoh met them at the door. "Ah, good. You're here. About time, too.   
Come on..."  
  
He led them to a small office, and gestured for them to sit down. "Okay,  
Kaoru, all I need is for you to confirm the report. According to what  
we've heard from Yahiko and the Battosai over there, the hitokiri Gantarou  
Itoko came into your dojo and challenged Kenshin to a duel. You and Yahiko  
were detained, and while struggling you grabbed a poleax. You swung the  
poleax wildly, and wound up killing Itoko with it. Correct?"  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Hai... that's exactly what I did. Killed Itoko..."  
  
Something flashed in Saitoh's eyes at the hopeless tone in Kaoru's voice.   
Frowning, he nodded. "Good. As it turns out, Gantarou Itoko was wanted by  
us for having killed several regional leaders. Good job! Now, get out of  
here and go home...."  
  
Kaoru blinked. "But... what about my sentence? I killed a man- shouldn't  
I be imprisoned, or... or something?"  
  
Saitoh laughed. "If everyone who killed a man was imprisoned, then  
Kenshin, Aoshi, and probably Sano and Misao would likely be in jail right  
now... and we would have just executed Shishio Makoto's gang in quiet  
instead of giving them the jobs we did. And you were acting in  
self-defense, after all...."  
  
"Um... okay," Kaoru said, sounding somewhat disappointed. "Come on,  
Kenshin, let's go home."  
  
She turned to go, and a VERY relieved Kenshin started to follow.  
  
"One moment, Battosai- I'd like to talk with you in private for a moment."  
  
"Oro?" Kenshin said. Kaoru shut the door behind her and walked to the  
front of the police station, and started to wait for him.  
  
"Battosai," Saitoh said. "Just a suggestion- you might want to start  
wandering again. And I mean now."  
  
Kenshin's eyes widened. "But... I can't leave Kaoru alone- especially at a  
time like this!"  
  
"Who said you had to leave her alone?" A completely baffled look answered  
him. "I meant you should go... and take her with you. It took you a  
decade of wandering to finally get over what you did in Kyoto. Kaoru's  
only killed once, so it shouldn't take so long... and if you bring her with  
you, then maybe that time will be reduced."  
  
"Saitoh?"  
  
"Look, I don't like you- I think you know that," Saitoh growled. "But I'm  
a man, just like you. I know what it's like when your woman suddenly gets  
depressed- I AM married, after all. If Tokio were acting like Kaoru is  
now, I'd damn well do something."  
  
"This isn't like you, Saitoh," Kenshin said suspiciously. "What's in it  
for you?  
  
"You need a reason? Very well.... We haven't needed you for a while now-  
we probably won't for some time, still. However, until you can get Kaoru  
feeling better, I'm pretty sure we won't be able to bring you back into our  
service if we need you."  
  
Kenshin nodded. He expected the reason to be something like that. "Well,  
if that's so, then I'd like something from you...."  
  
Saitoh blinked. "From me?"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee  
desaix@sysnet.net  
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872  
fanfics available at   
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm 


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2  
  
All of their friends had gathered together for a party to help send the two  
of them off on a happier note, but neither Kenshin nor Kaoru were too  
pleased. Kaoru was still upset about what she had done, and Kenshin just  
wanted to get going so he could start working on making Kaoru feel better.   
Both, however, endured the goodbyes without complaint.  
  
The food for the party was catered in by Tae and Tsubame, who had decided  
to shut down the Akebeko for the event, and they brought not just their  
spectacular sukiyaki but also a huge tray of other goodies and several  
bottles of sake.  
  
Sanosuke was vehemently avoiding the sake. Usually in the parties that he  
went to, he drunk everyone else under the table, however this time he was  
pretty sure that being drunk was inappropriate. He had missed the entire  
incident, one in which Kenshin and Kaoru had desperately needed his help,  
drunk and passed out on the floor of one of the gambling halls he  
frequented. By the time he'd recovered and showed up at the dojo, Kaoru  
had already been interrogated by Saitoh and Kenshin had already decided to  
take her on this trip. Sano wasn't even around to help pick up the pieces-  
all he could do was to help arrange this party. He was barely able to meet  
Kenshin's eyes at that moment.  
  
Megumi stood on the other side of the room, looking in mild disgust in his  
direction. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Sanosuke since he had  
returned from the gambling hall, but she certainly had some words for him.   
Not right then, though- she didn't want to upset Kaoru or Kenshin any more  
than they already were.  
  
Surprisingly, Saitoh had footed part of the bill for repairs needed to the  
dojo following the fight. Megumi wasn't sure what was going on there, but  
she didn't like it one bit. However, she wouldn't look a gift horse in the  
mouth- she knew how bad the financial difficulties were at the Kamiya  
residence, and she wasn't going to tell Kaoru to not take it. Well,  
Yahiko, really- he was going to be in charge of the dojo until Kenshin and  
Kaoru returned, and that included the maintenance and, to a lesser degree,  
finances. She would help him, of course, as would Tae (who had started  
giving him a fairly decent salary as a waiter), Tsubame, and (once she got  
her hands on the damn drunk and told him some things or three) Sanosuke.   
And Dr. Genzai, Ayame, and Suzame, too, of course.  
  
Yahiko was probably the only one who was having fun at the party. He was  
going to be trusted on his own- they weren't going to treat him like a  
child and forced to move in with someone else. True, he didn't entirely  
like WHY Kaoru and Kenshin were going away, but he was pretty sure that  
they'd be fine. They tended to keep each other from getting into too much  
trouble- Kenshin kept Kaoru alive, Kaoru kept Kenshin sane. Well, in this  
case, it might be the other way around- Kenshin was supposed to keep Kaoru  
sane, but he was pretty sure niether of them would be in any danger. Ayame  
and Suzame playing with Dr. Genzai in front of him was also helping to  
lighten the mood, as well.  
  
There WAS the fear that he might not be able to handle all of the troubles  
that came from maintaining the dojo- his only source of income was his job  
at the Akebeko, and while that kept him fed and gave him some pocket  
change, he doubted it would be enough to pay for any significant amount of  
supplies, so if anything broke he wouldn't be able to fix it. Well, not  
unless he relied on his old pickpocketing skills... and he really didn't  
want to do that again.  
  
Tae served the food to everyone, Tsubame included. She had given the young  
girl the night off, so that she could be with her friends. Tae, herself,  
wasn't entirely sure if this trip was that good an idea... then again, it  
just might be enough to inspire Kenshin to buy Kaoru the ring she so  
deserved. Tae also wasn't sure about Yahiko- she knew that the small  
salary she was paying him (which was really more than she could afford)  
wouldn't be enough for him to support himself for very long. She was  
fairly sure that Megumi, Sanosuke, and her young charge Tsubame would all  
help him out (Tsubame probably wouldn't be able to do much, but she could  
keep him company and stop him from being so lonely... hmm, and that might  
just be another nice relationship for her to try and help smooth out-  
though as young as the couple was, it probably would be difficult to push  
it very quickly. She'd have to think about it), but it might not be  
enough. She'd have to keep an eye on him, too, and make sure he ate  
enough...  
  
Saitoh, monitoring what was going on in the party from the shadows, unseen  
by all (well, by all except Kenshin, but Kenshin wasn't about to complain  
this time), couldn't believe he'd made that agreement with the Battousai.   
How could he have been talked into anything so foolish? Or expensive...  
Tokio was probably going to kill him. Well, maybe- she had a kind enough  
heart she'd probably tell him he should have done it without the agreement.  
Whatever, he still couldn't believe he'd made that agreement.  
  
Tsubame was happy and sad, nervous and shy. Everyone she loved was around  
her, even Yahiko. True, a couple of those people were about to leave on a  
journey for an undetermined period of time, but that was the future. The  
NOW was a happy time. And none were happier than Yahiko, which somehow  
made her smile that much more. Tae called her over and whispered a few  
words in her ear. Tsubame had been given the night off, but Tae needed her  
to do one little thing while she set up for dinner. Tsubame smiled- of  
course she would help.  
  
Kaoru was totally accepting of what was happening. She was standing in her  
place, behind Kenshin, letting him do the talking for her. She didn't know  
what to say any more- she certainly didn't have any right to give  
instruction to Yahiko, since she'd defiled the rules of her school. She  
couldn't say anything to Megumi- there wasn't anything more to say, really.  
She couldn't say anything to Tae- the other woman would be taking on more  
than her fair share of responsibilities by helping Yahiko out. She  
couldn't say anything to Tsubame, Ayame, or Suzame- she didn't want to  
corrupt the poor girl by being too near her. She was a murderer, she  
couldn't let those kids be too near a murderer. True, Kenshin had also  
killed before, and she couldn't help but imagine him with kids, but he was  
somehow... different. She didn't want to talk to Kenshin about it, right  
now- not in public, anyway- and she wouldn't feel comfortable around  
children until she did... until she found out whatever it was that made him  
so good despite the blood on his hands. The only person she thought she  
might be able to talk to was Sanosuke, but he was avoiding her and Kenshin,  
for some reason.  
  
Kenshin met with everyone and judged their moods instantly. Kaoru was...  
well, the same Kaoru she'd been since the incident had happened. Sanosuke  
was too embarrassed to meet his face. Saitoh, in hiding until he left as  
per their agreement, didn't know what he'd gotten himself into. Yahiko was  
delighted- and a little nervous- at being left on his own to fend for  
himself, for once. Kenshin allowed himself a slight smile- the boy was a  
very quick learner, and had a heart few could match. He'd do fine-  
especially with everyone helping him. Megumi was looking a little...  
angry. Not at him and Kaoru (though it was obvious she was annoyed that  
Kaoru hadn't snapped out of it, yet), but more at Sanosuke. Kenshin didn't  
even WANT to know what that was about. Dr. Genzai and the kids were having  
fun, blissfully ignorant of the seriousness of the parting. Tsubame and  
Tae were their usual selves- Tae was worrying over the food, and Tsubame  
was nervous about the company, a little shy about Yahiko's presence, but  
still happy to be around people who treated her as family. He saw Tae send  
the young girl off on a quick task before returning to her serving.   
Kenshin guessed why when he saw where Tsubame was going, and made a mental  
note to bring back something nice for them- they deserved it. He also made  
a mental note not to underestimate waitresses in the future.  
  
Once all the food was served (and Saitoh learned also to never  
underestimate a waitress when Tsubame showed up with a bowl full of  
steaming hot Sukiyaki for his consumption), the party started in earnest.   
Tsubame and Tae chatted politely with Yahiko, Ayame and Suzame ate settled  
down and proceeded to something they thought was very important- eating.   
Dr. Genzai was chatting politely with Megumi. Sanosuke was still sulking,  
and Kaoru and Kenshin were hardly a couple of chatterboxes, but everyone  
sensed their mood and, instead of letting it get them down, tried instead  
to cheer them up by being cheerful on their own.  
  
All too quickly, however, they ran out of food and the goodbyes had to be  
said. The first people to go were Dr. Genzai and his two young charges,  
since they needed to go to bed early.  
  
It wasn't until they had to go home that Ayame and Suzame realized they  
weren't going to be seeing Kenshin or Kaoru for quite some time. They  
reacted... predictably.  
  
"Ken-ni! Don't go!" Ayame cried, clamping on to his leg.  
  
"Pwease? We want you to stay here, with us! Pwease stay?" Suzame sobbed,  
clamping on to a leg as well- thought the leg she grabbed belonged to  
Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru felt like the physical contact stung. She had to go now, more than  
ever, to keep from corrupting these little darlings with her presence.   
However, she couldn't get away as long as Suzame clung to her like that.   
She couldn't do anything to get the young girl to let her go- that would  
just mean touching her with her blood stained hands all the more, and she  
couldn't do that. Desperate for a rescue, she looked to Kenshin, who was  
having his own problems in the removing-little-kids predicament. Ayame was  
holding him too tight for him to pry her off without hurting her.  
  
Thankfully, Dr. Genzai came to their rescue. "Now, kids," he said.   
"Kenshin and Kaoru are going away on a very important trip. They may not  
be back for a long time, but if you don't let go then they aren't going to  
be able to get started on their journey, which would mean they'd NEVER be  
able to come back."  
  
Despite the flawed logic of the statement, that caught the two little  
girls' attention. Tears in their eyes, they released the two adults and  
joined Dr. Genzai.  
  
"Bye Ken-ni! Bye, Kaowu-neesan. We love you!"  
  
Kenshin, sensing Kaoru's discomfort, decided to answer for the both of  
them. "Don't worry, you two- we'll be back before you know it. And when  
we get back, we'll hold an even bigger party in honor of our return."  
  
That gave the girls two really big smiles. "Pwomise?  
  
Kenshin smiled back and nodded. "Promise."  
  
The next to go was Tae, with the similar excuse of taking Tsubame home.   
She approached Kaoru, her arms outstretched, and took her into a gentle  
hug. "You be careful now, okay?" Tae said. "Quit blaming youself for  
something you had no control over... and," here her voice descended into a  
whisper, "Try to remember not to do anything I wouldn't do... at least, not  
until the two of you get married, okay?"  
  
If Kaoru had felt up to blushing, she would have. However, the sympathetic  
hug Tae was giving her helped relieve some of the dark cloud hanging over  
her shoulder, and so the embarrasment that she would have usually felt was  
absorbed by other emotions.  
  
After disengaging herself from Kaoru, Tae turned and hugged Kenshin, as  
well- much to his and Kaoru's surprise. "Bring her back safe, okay?" Tae  
said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Letting her voice fall into a  
whisper again, she added, "You might want to look for a ring while you're  
out there, okay?"  
  
Kenshin looked a little abashed, but when Tae backed off he gave her a  
short- and very quick- nod. Tae was taken a little aback- she was just  
joking, but he seemed to take her seriously... which was definitely a good  
thing. Tae turned to go, and Tsubame followed.  
  
"Tsubame?" Kenshin called, stopping her before she got too far.  
  
"Yes, Kenshin-san?" she asked, turning to see him.  
  
"Keep Yahiko-chan out of trouble while we're gone," he instructed, grinning  
slightly.  
  
"Hey!" came a voice from the other side of the room. "I'm NOT a chan, got  
it!?"  
  
Blushing, Tsubame nodded. "I will, Kenshin-san." Turning back to follow  
Tae, she nearly stumbled over her own clothing before rushing up to the  
Akebeko's matriarch.  
  
Sanosuke had tried to slip out while Kenshin and Kaoru were distracted by  
the others' leaving, but Megumi had grabbed him before he could leave. She  
was going to make SURE she could talk to him about all this, and the only  
way she could make certain she had that opportunity was to keep him in  
sight until she had that discussion.  
  
However, it WAS getting late, and she would probably have a long day coming  
up, and they definitely would, so she should probably leave soon, as well.   
And take that troublesome drunk, Sano, with her.  
  
"Come on, let's get out of here," she said to Sano, standing up and  
dragging him along by the collar of his gi. He nearly tore out of her  
grasp when she came up to Kaoru and Kenshin.  
  
"Bye, you two... We'll see you when we get back. Try not to get in too  
much trouble- I don't want to have to work too hard when you return," she  
winked.  
  
"Bye, Megumi-dono," Kenshin said. Kaoru mearly nodded.  
  
Sano said nothing, trying to hang off in the background. Megumi prompted  
him with a slap to the back of the head.  
  
"Um, yeah, bye," he muttered.  
  
Megumi looked at him in frustration before grabbing his arm and dragging  
him off.  
  
Kenshin chuckled a little watching them head off. He knew Sano was a  
little embarrased about missing the fight, and that was why he was avoiding  
them, but it seemed like Megumi would straighten him out quickly enough.   
He, however, would have a much harder time straightening Kaoru out. With  
everyone gone who was going to go, his attention returned to the problem of  
helping her deal with having killed a man. He wasn't entirely sure if what  
he had planned for her would work- after all, it had been several years  
since he last killed a man, and he still wasn't entirely over it. Then  
again, he'd killed many, MANY more men than just one.  
  
Yahiko approached the two of them, yawning. "Well, I'm going to bed.   
G'night, you two. See you in the morning."  
  
Kenshin sighed. "Actually, Yahiko, I don't think you will."  
  
Yahiko looked stunned. "You mean... you're leaving tonight?"  
  
"No," Kenshin replied, shaking his head. "But we're going to be leaving  
very early tomorrow. Before dawn. You won't be awake by then."  
  
"Then maybe I should stay up a little later," Yahiko said. "I was hoping  
to have a chance to talk with you two about some things before you leave."  
  
Kenshin smiled. "Go on to bed. Megumi and Tae will be around to help you  
out with anything you might have questions with."  
  
"But... then I-"  
  
"Yahiko," Kenshin said. "I know you just don't want to say goodbye. Well,  
don't worry- as we told Ayame and Suzame, we'll be back before you know  
it."  
  
Yahiko wasn't buying it. "And how long will that be? Months? YEARS? How  
will I get in touch with you if I need to you?"  
  
Kenshin sighed. "Yahiko... I wasn't planning on this, but you do make a  
good point. Regardless of whether we're ready or not, we'll be back- at  
least for a short time- in six months. Okay?" Yahiko didn't move.   
Kenshin offered a hand to shake. "Okay?"  
  
Yahiko hesitated, then grabbed the hand... and pulled himself into a big  
hug with Kenshin. "I'm going to miss you two," he said.  
  
Kenshin returned the hug, smiling. Usually, Yahiko would be struggling to  
get out of one, not giving someone else one. "And we're going to miss  
you."  
  
Yahiko broke her hug off from Kenshin and went over to Kaoru. "You get  
better FAST, okay?"  
  
Kaoru couldn't help but smile, even though she couldn't see herself getting  
better EVER. "Goodbye, Yahiko," she said, taking him into a hug. "As  
Kenshin said, we'll visit."  
  
"I'm not going to give up my training, you know," Yahiko noted. "I'll  
practice every day, just how you told me to. We can pick up right where  
you left off when you get back."  
  
Kaoru stiffened at the mention of training. She couldn't teach anyone any  
more- she'd disgraced her art. But now was not the time to say that, so  
she just kept silent.  
  
Once she released him, Kenshin knelt down to ruffle Yahiko's hair. "You go  
on to bed now, okay?"  
  
Yahiko nodded. "Okay, Kenshin... Good bye."  
  
After he left, Kenshin turned to Kaoru. "Why don't you go to bed, as well?  
I've got some last-minute things to pack still, but you should get your  
rest. It's going to be a long day for you, tomorrow."  
  
Kaoru nodded, and went off to her bed. Once she was out of sight, Kenshin  
walked over to where Saitoh was still standing.  
  
"I hate you, you know," Saitoh said.  
  
"I'm sorry for forcing you into this, Saitoh. But there was no-one else I  
knew of who could do this job."  
  
Saitoh shook his head. "Tokio is going to kill me- this is going to take  
away a lot of our little time together... and a large amount of our money."  
  
Kenshin nodded. "It may. It might not, you know, if you do it right."  
  
"Well, I made an agreement. I don't have a choice, now, do I?"  
  
Kenshin smiled. "Excuse me, I have to pack up a few things before I leave  
tomorrow."  
  
Saitoh merely nodded. "You're going to take her to see it, aren't you?"  
  
Kenshin shook his head. "Perhaps. We shall see."  
  
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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
"Wake up, boy."  
  
Yahiko snored and turned over, ignoring the throaty voice.  
  
"Last chance, kid. Wake up, or else."  
  
Yahiko slept on, oblivious to any danger.  
  
"Oh, well, kid. I warned you."  
  
Suddenly, the blankets were torn off of the sleeping boy, rolled up, and  
tossed into his face.  
  
"Huh, what!?" Yahiko snorted, tearing at the bundle of cloth to get it off.  
Once he succeeded, he opened his eyes and stared up at the person standing  
over him in surprise. "Saitoh!"  
  
"Get up, boy, and meet me downstairs in ten minutes for training."  
  
"Training?" Yahiko said, still too sleepy to understand what was going on.  
  
"You heard me- with the sensei of this dojo unavailable, my services as  
your instructor are required. And I don't tolerate laziness, so you've got  
ten minutes to get dressed and ready for training. If you're not ready in  
that time, I'll have some disciplinary exercises for for. Now get up."  
  
With that, Saitoh turned and left.  
  
Yahiko blinked. What in the hell was Saitoh up to?  
  
*****  
  
"Kenshin?" Kaoru finally asked. She didn't want to talk to him any more  
than she had to- she no longer felt as if she deserved him, which made  
talking to him painful- but her curiousity was overwhelming her.  
  
"Yes, Kaoru?" he said, still not using the 'dono.' They had just made it  
out of the city, and were now walking down one of the main roads out of  
Tokyo.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Well, we'll start with a trip to Kyoto. There's... something I want to  
show you there," Kenshin said hesitantly. "After that, well... we'll see.   
We won't stay in Kyoto very long, however- I don't want to be recognized."   
He paused. "Misao and our friends will probably know I'm there, but we  
won't be meeting with them unless they seek us out."  
  
Kaoru nodded. Her curiousity sated, she went quiet again, continuing to  
follow him at a distance. Suddenly, he put his hand to the hilt of his  
sword and darted to the side of the road.  
  
"Kenshin?!" she cried out in surprise.  
  
"Relax!" He emerged from the bushes. "I saw movement and couldn't quite  
tell what it was at first- it turned out to just be a squirrel running  
through the trees. We can't take any chances- I've heard that there have  
been a number of murders and robberies along this road, and I don't want to  
be surprised by them."  
  
Kaoru relaxed, and resumed her silent mood. Kenshin sighed.  
  
"For a second there, Kaoru," he said plaintively. "I thought I almost saw  
the old you- when you were startled and let your guard down, you looked  
alive again." He sighed again, staring deeply into her eyes. "Why did you  
change?"  
  
Kaoru looked back at him, and was startled at so what she saw. In his  
eyes, niether the amber of the Rurouni nor the violet of the Battousai were  
dominant. Instead, it almost looked like his eyes were shining with  
alternate amber and violet stripes arranged in a circle. It was as if both  
forms of himself were asking the question.  
  
And she didn't have an answer for him. Not one that she felt either side  
of him would accept, at any rate. Just saying that she didn't feel  
'worthy' of being what she once was didn't seem to be enough. After a few  
moments, she closed her own eyes so that she wouldn't have to look at him.   
To her surprise, a small tear was squeezed out by that action. She started  
to shake her head to let him know he couldn't answer her, but before she  
could complete even the first motion she felt his hands on her cheek,  
wiping the tear away. She opened her eyes to see him looking at her  
fiercely, and her eyes watered even more. She just couldn't stand to see  
him looking at her any more- she felt so dirty, so unworthy of him... so  
much like a filthy murderer.  
  
Kenshin couldn't stand to see her like that. He wanted to grab his sword,  
turn it around, find whatever enemy it was who was making Kaoru cry, and  
turn them into a shishkabob... but he knew that there was no enemy who he  
could fight to help her. No amount of swordfighting would end her  
suffering.  
  
Just trying to stop her tears, he grabbed her and wrapped her up in his  
arms. She attempted to struggle out of them briefly, but he refused to let  
go of his fierce embrace. Slowly, she stopped fighting him and started  
crying on his shoulder. She so wanted to do this before, but now it felt  
so wrong to be comforted by him, and that only made her want to cry harder.  
Soon, she was sobbing, not able to control herself any more. All that  
Kenshin did was tighten the hug, which made her want to escape even more-  
to not further stain his hands with her touch. He just wouldn't let go,  
however, and so there was little she could do but continue to sob.  
  
Kenshin's heart ached. All he wanted to do was keep her from crying, and  
all she was doing was crying even more. He just didn't know what to do.  
  
'It looks,' he thought, adjusting his hands to allow himself to pat her on  
the back, 'Like I'll have to come up with something to do for her before we  
get to Kyoto. I just wish I could think of what.'  
  
*****  
  
Yahiko was grumbling under his breath as he continued his exercises. So  
far, Saitoh hadn't instructed him in anything he couldn't have done on his  
own- just told him to 'perform a thousand repetitions of each of the basic  
motions.' No new katas, no special moves, no sparring, nothing.   
Furthermore, the policeman had yet to explain WHY he was 'training' Yahiko,  
and wouldn't allow him any time to ask questions.  
  
"997... 998... 999... 1000! Done!" Yahiko cried as he completed his  
practice. He turned to face Saitoh and raised his eyes arrogantly to meet  
the other mans. "Okay, I've finished my repetitions. Now will you tell me  
why you decided to train me all of a sudden? Or at least actually start  
TRAINING me, instead of just telling me to do what I was planning to do,  
anyway!"  
  
Saitoh grunted noncommitally. He had to admit, the boy did know his  
basics. He couldn't really judge him on kata, either, since he wasn't  
exactly familiar with the Kamiya school's variances. Sparring would be,  
well... useless, at that point. Yahiko was starting to learn a few pretty  
good moves- some of them just by watching others fight- but he was still  
nowhere NEAR Saitoh's level. The boy was just at that awkward stage where  
he was good enough that Saitoh wouldn't be able to limit himself in a  
sparring competition and still be effective, but not good enough to present  
even the slightest of challenges. And as far as special moves went...  
well, Saitoh wasn't about to teach the Gatotsu to a mere child.   
  
"Hey, are you listening to me?!" Yahiko growled.  
  
"Shut up, brat. The Battousai told me to train you... I'm just trying to  
figure out what I CAN teach you."  
  
"How about fixing my Gatotsu?" Yahiko asked. "I've been working on  
developing one from what I've seen of you using it, but I'm not sure I've  
got it right, yet."  
  
Saitoh raised an eyebrow. "You've been developing your own version of the  
Gatotsu based on what you've seen of me?" He sniffed arrogantly. "I doubt  
you got it right at all. Probably just some patheticly weak attack that  
wouldn't work in a real fight."  
  
Yahiko was starting to get frustrated with the conceited way Saitoh was  
downplaying his abilities. "Then why don't you try me?" he said, getting  
down into his version of the Gatotsu stance.  
  
Saitoh snorted. From what he could see, a simple block would disarm the  
boy if he were to try and attack from that stance. "I can see problems  
already- you aren't holding the sword properly, for one thing."  
  
Yahiko nodded. "Yeah, it's not exactly like yours- I had to modify it to  
fit me, but it works. There may be some things you can help me fix, but it  
works."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. If you were to attack me with it, you'd do nothing more  
than embarass yourself."  
  
Yahiko glared at him. "Like I said- try me."  
  
Saitoh rolled his eyes. "That rooster-head's been too strong an influence  
on you- he insisted on fighting me, as well, and I had to beat him up  
because of it. I won't do that to a kid."  
  
"Then you'll just LET me attack you?"  
  
"Look, Kenshin made me swear to make certain you kept up your training and  
that you were well protected if any of his enemies showed up and tried to  
harm you to get to him. I don't think fending off your attacks were part  
of the bargain, though."  
  
"This is part of the training- you said yourself you were having trouble  
thinking of what to do. So let's spar!"  
  
Saitoh finally gave up, sighing. "Fine- one pass where you can try that  
silly caricature of the Gatotsu on me. But don't start crying when I show  
you how pathetic an imitation it is."  
  
Yahiko nodded, focusing his attention on his stance. "One pass. Got it."  
  
Saitoh picked out a shinai to match Yahiko with, not wanting to be told he  
had an 'unfair advantage' for using his katana against the much lighter  
bamboo sword the boy wielded. He got down into a defensive stance, and  
waited. "Ready," he said.  
  
Yahiko didn't waste time. He charged in, striking just as he got in sword  
range. Saitoh casually blocked the blow...  
  
Or at least he THOUGHT he'd blocked it. His eyes widened as the sword he  
was using to block with was easily cut through and the Gatotsu wasn't even  
slightly deflected. The blow struck hard, knocking him half-way across the  
dojo and onto the floor.  
  
"Oof!" Saitoh coughed. He felt that his ribs were cracked by the blow- if  
it had been a real sword, he would be very dead... or if the blow had been  
delivered slightly stronger. "Okay... maybe you were able to get it right,  
after all," he admitted, stunned. Determined not to show any weakness,  
however, he stood up and ignored the pain in his ribs, trying to figure out  
how the boy's technique had been able to fool him. "Set up some practice  
dummies. I want to see you do that again, this time from a different  
direction. Actually, set up enough practice dummies so you can demonstrate  
all of your special techniques- I'm interested in seeing how far you've  
really gotten in your studies."  
  
He looked at the damaged shinai he was holding. It appeared to have been  
split as if a saw had ripped through it. He wasn't certain, but he felt  
that if he'd touched the edge of Yahiko's shinai during the Gatotsu, he'd  
no longer have that part of the body.  
  
In fact, he was surprised he was still alive. Yahiko must have pulled the  
blow... though he certainly hadn't pulled it much. Someone would have to  
teach him better control, and soon, or else the boy would wind up killing  
someone without intending to.  
  
Well, there were some options. Mentally, he started to make a list. He  
had some things to work out, and some people to talk to. This was going to  
get difficult... he knew he shouldn't have made that promise to Kenshin.  
  
*****  
  
Sanosuke blinked his eyes open to see a pair of cute, five-year-old faces  
peering at him intently. As he watched, their faces brightened up and the  
two children ran off out of his range of vision.  
  
"Megumi-saaan!" Ayame and Suzame called out simultaneously. "He's awake!   
He's awake, Megumi-san!"  
  
Sanosuke sat up, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs out of it. Why was  
he at the clinic, again? He certainly didn't remember having done anything  
which would require medical treatment....  
  
Oh, right. Megumi had wanted to 'talk,' and didn't want him going home  
until they had. Why he bothered to listen to her, he didn't know, but  
somehow he found himself spending the night on one of the spare beds in her  
and Dr. Genzai's clinic. Apparently, Megumi had left an alarm system to  
let her know when he awoke, and that alarm system was doing everything they  
could to let her know it had worked.  
  
Breaking her way into his musings, the female doctor entered the room,  
following the enthusiastic girls. Each of the children were carrying a  
bundle, as was Megumi, and as soon as they set their loads down they  
scampered out of the room. "Well, I see you've finally decided to arise  
from the dead, today," she commented cheekily.  
  
"I won't feel much like talking until after I've eaten and changed,  
Fox-lady," Sanosuke snapped back.  
  
Megumi nodded, unphased. "Of course. Here's a change of clothes, and  
Ayame and Suzame brought in your breakfast and tea. I'll be waiting in my  
office when you're ready."  
  
Sanosuke glared at her suspiciously. "Why the guards if you aren't going  
to begin your interrogation immediately?"  
  
Megumi scoffed at that. "Interrogation? Who said anything about an  
interrogation? I just wanted to know why you were doing everything you  
could to make Kaoru's departure even more difficult on her, yesterday!"  
  
The one-time gangster went ashen. "That was NOT what I was trying to do,"  
he mumbled fiercely.  
  
Megumi looked at him intently, examining his expression. Finally she  
snorted in exasperation. "Not you, too!"  
  
"What?!" he replied, bewildered by her outburst.  
  
She sighed. "Look, Sanosuke... I don't know WHY in the world you feel  
guilty over this, but drop it. The only person who is to blame is the guy  
who died- he's the one who attacked Kenshin, after all."  
  
Sanosuke grimaced. "I'm not exactly guilty over that... it's just... well,  
I shouldn't have been out drinking and gambling! Not while I knew Kenshin  
wasn't himself- he'd just gotten back from that last conflict, and what did  
I do? Leave him, unprotected, just so I could indulge in a little fun."  
  
"Sounds like guilt to me," Megumi said, amused. "Though if it keeps you  
from drinking and gambling, maybe a little guilt is a good thing. But  
don't use that guilt as an excuse to stay away from your friends when they  
needs you- instead, think of it as a learning experience. Kaoru thought  
you were... shunning her... for having killed that man, for gods' sake!"  
  
He winced. "That was... not what I meant to do."  
  
"You said that already."  
  
"Look, Fox-lady, don't try me," Sanosuke warned. "I'll make it up to her  
when she gets back. Now, can I go?"  
  
Megumi shook her head. "Oh, no. See, since Kenshin and Kaoru have both  
left, I think we need to add on to your responsibilities a bit. Starting  
with helping Yahiko keep the dojo in business...."  
  
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